One more time......

It's been more than three years since I made that last post.  Nothing would make me happier than to sit here and tell you how much weight I've lost, how I feel so healthy, so good about myself now or what my life is like at a normal weight living a normal life. 

But I can't.

When I weighed yesterday, I weighted 326.?.  I've been off of Sparkpeople.com for a very long time.  I honestly can't even tell you why.  I went through some very bad times for a while at work.  Things were very difficult.  But that would just be an excuse like anything else I'd write here.  I did really well for a while.  I think I had ended up losing close to fifty pounds when somehow, for whatever reason, I drifted away from Sparkpeople.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia which has REALLY slowed me down.  So that's one more thing I'll have to hurdle over to get to my goal.  But, I'm willing to try it one more time.  I can't continue to live this way.  It's not living.  It's barely existing.  I have no respect from anyone.  I can't stand to look myself in the mirror. 

So, tomorrow, even though I'm not really prepared for it, I'm going back to Sparkpeople.com and watching what I eat.  I'll weigh myself tomorrow first thing so I can get an accurate starting weight.  My ultimate goal is to eventually lose 200#.  One of my New Year's resolutions was to lose 15# per month.  Hopefully using that website and this blog for accountability, I can make it work this time.   I deserve to be able to live a decent life. 
Ok... so until tomorrow cross your fingers for me.  {then start praying like hell for me, lol}